Bad Beat of the Week - NFL 2009

 9/13/09   Ahhhh, there's nothing like cruising to an easy win in a game that you have a large wager on. No sweat. No stress. Sit back, enjoy, and revel in the brilliance of your handicapping skills. This week's crusher as far as the spread goes had to be the KC-BAL game. Chiefs are getting 13 and they are playing the Ravens TOUGH! Illinois Joe is feeling good and is already contemplating what to do with his winnings. The score is tied at 24 with less than three minutes to go. The only way the Ravens cover is to score two TD's and, you guessed it, that's exactly what they do. The last "meaningless" one coming with 31 seconds left. Poor Joe, all he can do is scream IMMWTJOTNB!

And so it goes...another bad beat for an addicted gambler who can't handle defeat in any form, least not one in the last minute. Chin up, Joe, don't jump off that bridge. Just remember TIG's advice for situations such as this: "Double up to catch up." You won't get any better advice from anyone at anytime!

 9/20/09   An especially infuriating defeat hit both Leon Pastrucci and Navajo Jack in week 2. They both had the Chiefs -3 at home versus the Raiders. KC kicks a field goal with 2:38 to go to give them a 10-6 lead. After the kickoff, Oakland is 69 yards away from a TD with 2:30 left. The Raider offense has done NOTHING in the game. Looking at the stat sheet, it looks like they had only 100 yards in total offense for the game at that time. JaMarcus Russell was 3 for 17 for 42 yards. HBIT? Only an Oakland TD can get Raider bettors the money. The KC defense then does their best imitation of the Red Sea and lets Oakland march down the field like the Florida A&M band. Raiders score easily, with over a minute still left on the clock. Chiefs go nowhere. Raiders take three knees and another bet goes down the drain.

That's okay guys, cheer up. Somewhere there are some Oakland bettors jumping up and down in glee. The NFL gods giveth and taketh away. This week you got took. Have you considered betting on the WNBA?

 9/27/09   Hallelujah, brother! No one on the IG staff, nor any of their friends (or enemies) suffered a bad beat on Sunday. How sweet is that? But there must have been some upset bettors around the country thanks to the ending of the Steelers-Bengals game. The game would have gone Steelers and Under, but a touchdown with 14 seconds left made it Bengals and Over. Ouch!

For any of you that felt the wrath of the NFL betting gods in that game, remember that there are just as many people who are celebrating a last-second victory. Cheer up, there's always next week!

 10/04/09   Rex Torquemada had the Jets plus 7 1/2 in New Orleans. The Jets stopped Drew Brees cold. No touchdown passes. Rex KNEW the Jets D was up to the task, but Mark Sanchez let his team down. Well, let's let Rex explain it himself. "F***ing rookie. All he had to do was hand the ball off and let the D take care of business. F***ing jerk. F*** him. F*** the Jets. F-*-*-* the J-E-T-S f***ing Jets!!! 550 big ones down the drain!! IMMWTJOTNB!"

Tough break, Rex. Take it easy. Mr. Sanchez is just a rookie. You can win the money back and more when the Jets play Miami on Monday night. If the Jets can stop Brees, what will they do to Chad Henne?

 10/12/09   Ohhhh, ya gotta feel bad for Rex Torquemada. He took TIG's advice and doubled up on the Jets. Here is Rex's take, verbatim, on the Jets-Dolphins game. "I want to punch a hole in the wall. Last week the Jets D was superb and Sanchez sucked. All week long, I kept reading and hearing how the Jets were gonna shut down the Dolphins. Okay, I'll bite. Sanchez can't be horrible two weeks in a row. So what f***ing happens? Sanchez is great, and the defense blows chunks. The Wildcat chewed them up and spit them out. Still, the Jets were in line to win until that last f***ing drive. They made Chad f***ing Henne look like Joe Montana, Johnny Unitas and Dan Marino all rolled into one. I HATE THE JETS!!!! I'd like to put a stick of dynamite in their locker room and blow them all to hell. Bunch of jackasses. Bite me!"

Wow, that was some rant, Rex. Why not get your revenge by betting on Buffalo this week?

 10/18/09   St. Louis at Jacksonville. Under 42 1/2. After three quarters, the score is 10-6 Rams. The game is going exactly as planned for yours truly, TIG. Then things start to go bad, really bad. The Jaguars score a touchdown. The Rams score on an interception return. The Jaguars score again. But we're still winning 20-17. Then a Rams field goal ties it. Into overtime they go, the Jaguars kick a field goal to win 23-20. Let me go over this again to emphasize what a freaking abomination this was! 16 points in three quarters, then 24 points in one quarter! Still, that's 40 points when the game ends and since I've got under 42 1/2, I should win, right? WRONG! An overtime field goal beats me by a lousy half-point.CYBT? Let me repeat that in stronger terms. CYFBT? I think I'm gonna puke.

 10/25/09   Amazing. No bad beats this week for yours truly or any of his friends. Cherish moments like these, for they truly are rare.

 11/02/09   Here's a bad beat for all you fantasy football freaks. Oscar Statz had a fantasy matchup that came down to the wire on Monday night. He had a 23.05 point lead on his opponent. All of Oscar's players were done for the week but his opponent, a team named Fredo's Popsicle, had one guy left: Michael Turner. Oscar spent all day computing the possibilities: 199 yards and 0 TDs - okay. 150 yards and 1 TD - okay. 99 yards and 2 TDs - okay. Turner got off to a great start and it looked really bad for Oscar but as the game went on, things improved. TMALSS Turner ended up with 151 yards and one TD. Made it by one yard! The final score was Fredo's Popsicle 87.55, Dirtbag City 87.50. Poor Oscar! A great game between New Orleans and Atlanta ruined by spending the entire game rooting against Michael Turner and losing by one freaking yard. Bad beats - they come in all shapes and sizes - some with nary a penny involved.

 11/08/09   Horace Glork had the Detroit Lions getting 11 points at Seattle. The Lions! Hardy-har-har! But wait - after the first quarter, the Lions lead 17-0. They're ahead by 28 freaking points against the spread! Alas, the Seahawks rally to take a 25-20 lead. That's okay, the Lions are still covering. There's less than a minute to play and they've got the ball and are trying to score the winning touchdown. Careful ... careful. The only way Detroit doesn't cover is if Seattle intercepts a pass and runs it back for a score. OMG, that's what happened! Matthew Stafford gets picked by Josh Brown, who runs it back 61 yards for a score with 22 seconds left. The kick is good. 32-20. Lions lose by 12. CYBT? AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! Poor Horace....

 11/15/09   Saints at Rams. Yours truly has under 50 1/2. It's scoreless after the first quarter. I'm feeling pretty good. Then the flood gates open and the final score ends up at 28-23. That adds up to 51. Absolute, total, complete, utter devastation. I can't go on. This is all for 2009. Try again in 2010. Dirtbags. Lousy stinking dirtbags!

Unleaded IG

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