Cendorex®

Is Cendorex® right for you?


      Is life difficult for you? Times are hard enough these days even without any of a wide variety of maladies that can strike at any moment. A lot of times it's impossible to pin down exactly what the problem is. All you know is that something just doesn't feel right, something's missing in your life.

      If you're not feeling right, Cendorex® may be just the thing for you. Contact your family physician to see if Cendorex® can solve your problems.

Cautionary Note:
      Taking Cendorex® can result in any or all of these side effects: dizziness, panic attacks, nausea, shortness of breath, high cholesterol, weak bones, short-term memory loss, dandruff, ringworm, nervous breakdown, carpal tunnel syndrome, diarrhea, kidney failure, measles, acne, droopy butt, hiccups, barnacles, constipation, stomach cramps, tingling of the arms, shyness, stubbed toes, binge drinking, sore muscles, attention deficit disorder, torn ligaments, vertigo, impetigo, dental cavities, folliculitis, sports hernia, heat rash, disturbing emotions, loss of hearing, frizzy hair, greasy hair, leg cramps, warped sense of values, nosebleeds, frostbite, mild depression, flatulence, sciatica, baked hamstrings, porn addiction, tosfulitis, floaters, scurvy, COPD, facial paralysis, cellulite, exploding cartilage, abdominal aoetic anurysm, shingles, multiple sclerosis, skin cancer, inflated ego, gorgonitis, torn knee cartilage, deteriorating dentures, torticollis, Indiana jitters, osteoporosis, crushed ear lobe, oval apertures, sexual inadequacy, heartburn, melancholy, lymphoma, crocodile tears, flat feet, warts, upchucking, pregnancy, angina, fear of snakes, Taylor's bunion, color blindness, aneurysms, smallpox, sleep apnea, bent elbow, hangnails, anemia, egomania, anthrax, frog skin, rudeness, bronchitis, Feldman's syndrome, grungitis, inflamed scrotum, fatigue, platelet disorder, insomnia, Bartholin's cyst, blatant selfishness, psychotropic mania, enlarged toenails, cardiac arrest, acute forlornness, myopia, enlarged prostate, swamp fever, strep throat, shrunken testicles, ebola, crushed vertebrae, runny nose, impacted molars, kidney stones, interior deterioration, gender confusion, rheumatic fever, galvanized femur, hodaditis, cracked knuckles, whooping cough, Rachel's Syndrome, bad fashion taste, yellow fever, lazy eye, crooked knees, collapsed lung, collapsed kidneys, warts, heart palpitations, schizophrenia, chronic lumbago, general malaise, hardened arteries, dyspepsia, loss of memory, poor posture, bostumitis, inflamed larynx, kornfusion, hepatitis, lockjaw, evaporated eyebrows, menopause, gunimendinitis, clogged valves, persistent drowsiness, pancreatitis, tuberculosis, shortsightedness, corns, herniated discs, Oedipus complex, stage fright, punctured eardrum, detached retina, Thungerman's dilation, gravitatis, premature ejaculation, the bends, fallen arches, torn rotator cuff, chronic lugubriousness, bad attitude, HKWSDL, cerebral palsy, reflux, cabin fever, barfilitis of the blowhole, funfitis, facial tics, crooked eyebrow, enlarged gonads, deviated septum, astigmatism, low viscosity, floobermania, sore knuckles, head lice, pink hair, boils, high blood pressure, glazed fibulas, encroachment, sinusitis, gonorrhea, alcoholism, cat scratch fever, fractated humerus, sand in your shorts, obesity, tendency to double fault, dilated pupils, blood clots, frazzled nerves, dry skin, fendiliosis, brittle hair, farmer's lung, uterine fibroids, tendency to go on tilt too easily, zygomycosis, bloody nose, dislocated shoulder, albinoism, nymphomania, enlarged pores, irritability, AIDS, absence seizure, exploding head syndrome, gravy lips, Spanish flu, false pretenses, sour inspirations, gendolism, hypertension, allergies, consplitemia, granulomatosis, overactive bladder, fear of puppies, bursitis, megalomania, twisted spinal cord, WTSA, sex addiction, epilepsy, lost wages, gooberitis, super ego, dry mouth, loose lips, bleeding gums, enlarged platelets, wet charcoal, tetrametitis, charlie horse, rickets, droopy jowls, lost marbles, weak ankles, trench foot, Patterson's disease, creaky joints, ingrown toenails, botulism, mental retardation, dermal infiltration, crabs, acoustic neuroma, fibromyalgia, bulimia, torqued tendons, abbreviated backswing, abnormal liver enzymes, low testosterone levels, duck hooks, indented chin, yeast infection, stretched eyelids, bowlegs, salt deficiency, just plain bad luck, gafellitis, loose bowels, sweaty palms, loose morals, gonjonoria, the shakes, frequent urination, snoring, turf toe, cataracts, bloody snot, singed eyebrows, mumps, crying spells, Hodgkin's disease, floppy jowls, tendency to slow play pocket aces, hives, angina, narcolepsy, SARS, tonsilitis, false labor pains, swollen glands, malaria, indentured colon, chickenpox, itchy trigger finger, stretched trachea, conjularianism, vasovagalitis, dragged pivot foot, premature baldness, dry socket, wrinkled brows, loss of balance, fendamitis, swine flu, pneumonia, fear of peanut butter, the munchies, foggy lenses, shin splints, autism, colic, Tourette's syndrome, lupus, oblong kidneys, cerrated pancreas, marfan syndrome, sleep walking, hyperextended elbow, fissured tongue, rice allergy, sore throat, Steve Blass disease, sore knuckles, muggles, severe depression, dumbfounded thalamus, mood swings, truculitis, plantar fasciitis, hemorrhoids, filariasis, cracked skull, rabies, inflamed nasal cavity, hip pointers, chilblains, Alzheimer's, bloated jowls, glaucoma, jock itch, canker sores, ingrown toenails, ulcers, dilapidated tear ducts, lumbar pain, shrunken veins, chipped nails, estebanitis, asthma, cracked thumbnails, colon polyps, scratched eyeballs, muscle cramps, slow digestion, crooked teeth, cirrhosis, eczema, trout lips, chronic fatigue syndrome, motion sickness, corns, alligator arms, hoof and mouth disease, aerial displacement, paraphilia, moderate depression, fear of palm trees, carbohydrate deficiency, weak tongue, random acts of stupidity, bone chips, spinal meningitis, overabundant ear wax, sunburn, fractitis, raccoon eyes, dengue fever, squeaky voice, decreased libido, the heebie jeebies, herpes, airplane ear, diaper rash, drooling, halitosis, phlebitis, glass jaw, toothache, influenza, dehydration, tennis elbow, farsightedness, carpenter's spleen, rug burns, internal bleeding, molasses breath, wheezing, phildasia, gray hair, Crohn's disease, dyslexia, Parkinson's, xerostomia, Lyme disease, sore feelings, whiplash, dementia, crooked spine, giddiness, panic attacks, epilepsy, pituitary dwarfism, total bewilderment, water on the brain, rotted wisdom teeth, twisted tongue, bloviated pancreas, dental plaque, macarena ears, excessive lactation, jaundice, mad cow disease, porphyria, restless leg syndrome, fiscal irresponsibility, ataxia, stupid grins, achy breaky heart, flared nostrils, West Nile disease, syphilis, chlamydia, any kind of depression, asbestosis, Graves' disease, cleft palate, scabies, agoraphobia, choking sensation, fear of undercooked hamburgers, and any other disease, condition or malady not listed.

      If you suffer any of these side effects while taking Cendorex®, don't say we didn't warn you. If the situation is life threatening, call 9-1-1 or go to the nearest emergency room. After all, Cendorex® isn't for everybody.


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