Gamblerscope

An astrological forecast for all you degenerate gamblers for the week of February 27 - March 4, 2012

Pisces       Pisces   February 19 - March 20
Good money management turns losing into a profit. Avoid NHL games at all costs. Make that parlay you've been thinking about.



AriesAries   March 21 - April 19
A losing streak looms, but don't worry. Double up to catch up! Bet the 1-4-6 trifecta box at the track, any track, any race. Bet, bet, bet!



Taurus     Taurus   April 20 - May 20
An ATM can be your best friend. Beware of men in striped shirts. There's a hold 'em seat waiting for you at the card club.



GeminiGemini   May 21 - June 21
Don't borrow money from guys named Edgar or Manny. Try playing some blackjack. A bad, bad, bad, bad beat looms on Thursday.



Cancer        Cancer   June 22 - July 22
Do NOT bet on any NBA Central games. The Four of Spades has bad news for you. Don't be afraid to buy a lottery ticket.



Leo   Leo   July 23 - August 22
Avoid Virgos like the plague. A big score awaits in a San Jose Sharks game. Number 11.8 is lucky for you.



Virgo      Virgo   August 23 - September 22
84.7 percent probability of a bad week. Avoid any wagers over $72. Don't even THINK of going to an Indian casino.



Libra          Libra   September 23 - October 22
Now is the time to go all in! Dame Fortune is smiling on you. The New Jersey Nets sound good.



Scorpio  Scorpio   October 23 - November 21
The ponies beckon! Avoid temptation to go on tilt after a tough loss. Valium can be your best friend.



Sagittarius       Sagittarius   November 22 - December 21
Your favorite teams may let you down. If you've never bet on a greyhound race, now may be the time. Dreams of a big, big score may finally pan out.



CapricornCapricorn   December 22 - January 19
Learn how to play Omaha poker. Get Steve Nash on your NBA fantasy team. A hot tip from the track will fatten your bankroll.



Aquarius          Aquarius   January 20 - February 18
It takes money to make money. English soccer games are not good for you. Don't slow play pocket Queens.




Unleaded IG

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